Decked For Love
by Mini Nephthys
Summary: Nepeta and Equius get married.  Oneshot, moiralliegance.


It's after a long and productive session of roleplaying the Heir of Fluff and his loyal friend and counselor that Nepeta puts her hand to her chin and asks, "John, why do humans get married?"

John stops swinging his legs over the side of his bed. "Huh, you don't know?"

"Jade said it was extremely relevant to my interests, especially now that we've been here on your world for a while. I know it's romantic, but humans have all these strange ideas about romance and I don't understand the purrticulars." Her eyes light up. "But you know all about marriage!"

He laughs. "Yeah, all right. I will be your cultural guide for the evening. Okay, the first thing to know about marriage is that it's red. We really don't have anything like black romance on Earth. Besides that... I guess it's mostly a way to show commitment? I mean, you can't make anyone get married for the right reasons and some people get married for just a couple of days in Vegas-" He sees her confused expression. "Sorry. What it's supposed to be about is commitment. It's a way of saying, 'I want to be with you for the rest of my life.' Most people find it really fulfilling and are always talking about how their wedding day was the happiest day of their life."

Nepeta was nodding along. "It sounds wonderful."

"It's supposed to be! I want to get married too. B-but someday, so don't write that on your shipping chart or anything..." John chuckles a bit nervously.

"Oh, don't worry, I have another ship in mind now."

* * *

><p>Nepeta considers it very carefully for a few days. Humans take marriage very seriously, she knows. She doesn't want to introduce the idea if she isn't sure. But she's been sure of this for sweeps anyway.<p>

She did some more internet research: mostly about traditions rather than reasoning. Some of them are silly, but some of them sound particularly exciting. Besides, she never shied away from anything because it was silly.

The moment she decides is when she's helping Equius pick up the shards of his last attempt at holding a milk glass; he still tries occasionally, for old times' sake. "I don't know what you'd do without me," she says with a sigh. "It's okay, because I need you just as much."

"Always," Equius agrees.

Nepeta smiles, and once the kitchen is clear of glass, she shoos him into the living room (she doesn't want to be poked accidentally while she does this after all). She takes a breath to steady herself, and before Equius can ask what's wrong she gets down on one knee. It's more difficult than the movies made it look.

"Equius. We've been pale for so long that I can't imagine being pale for anyone else. I want to find every way of promising to be there for you in the whole universe and do all of them, but I'll start with this one. ...Will you marry me?"

Equius is blue-faced now, and for a moment Nepeta is sure that she's going to be turned down because it's a foolish human ritual, or because of Aradia despite that their quadrant is almost totally black from Aradia's side, or some other reason, so she's not prepared when Equius answers her. "I don't understand this ritual at all, but with you, I would undertake anything without fear. I want to marry you."

Nepeta beams, and pounces remarkably well from her positions. All marriage proposals should end with snuggling against the other person's chest; she's making it a new tradition.

* * *

><p>"Maid of honor?" Equius asks. He's downloaded a checklist in order to do this properly. "According to this, their main duties involve organizing fittings, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and other activities that we will have to look up in order to understand. Perhaps we should come back-"<p>

"Feferi said she was pawsitively excited about being a part of the wedding party," Nepeta mentions casually, knowing Equius's reaction.

"Feferi it is." Then comes the part she hadn't expected: "...but are you certain? The maid of honor is intended for your support instead of mine, and you two get along but aren't particularly close."

She thinks about it. "I think maybe not. Try to come up with your best man."

"Not either highblood," he answers in an instant. "Certainly not Vantas, either human, Captor or... I see what you mean."

"Exactly! So, I just thought. Maybe we should trade?" Nepeta suggests. "If you want to have Feferi as your best man, then I can have Tavros as my maid of honor, and except for the dress part it'll work out purrfectly."

"Doesn't that go against the idea of a 'maid'?" he asks. "If you'd like Aradia, her title makes her an optimum choice."

"I just want what feels right, and besides, we're trolls. We're going to break some of the rules anyway." She shrugs. "Jade can be my bridesmaid! We don't need a lot of people when we're just inviting the ones we know."

"...I hesitate to put the highbloods in any position of any responsibility, regardless of how much that should be their place," Equius murmurs.

"So let John be your groomsman. You've talked to him a lot since the game ended and he can do big important things just fine." She checks her place in her copy of the list. "...Okay, there's no way that Kanaya can't be our flower girl if we have one, but I think she'd rather be watching than just putting flower petals everywhere. We don't need a ringbearer either."

"We are only having fourteen other people, after all. This isn't as difficult as it sounded."

* * *

><p>"This is stupid," Nepeta growls, looking at herself in the mirror.<p>

"It's only the, uh, fourth dress," Tavros reassures her. "This can take a lot of time, right?"

"It does! That's normal." Jade inspects the dress more closely. "This one's too baggy in the front, so if we can get something that's smoother there, it'll be great! I bet we can get one like that in no time at all."

They do get one like that in no time at all, and this time when Nepeta twirls around, she can't find anything to complain about in the long white dress. Kanaya would have been a good person to bring along, but still she can tell that this dress suits her well and makes her look less tiny. "I love this one! This is definitely the one for... Tavros, why are you looking so weird?"

"The employee said, uh... that it was..." He hangs his head. "I can't do it. I can't say it when she looks so happy."

Jade sighs. "It's too far outside your budget. We can't get this one. We can probably find one a lot like it that's in a less expensive fabric - oh nooo, Nepeta, it's okay..." With Nepeta's shoulders shaking, Jade takes only a moment before hugging her and looking meaningfully at Tavros. Tavros takes a second longer before hugging them both.

"...sorry. I'm all right now. I can try on the next dress." Nepeta sighs. "I just thought I'd look amazing in that, and he'd really like it."

Tavros smiles a bit at that. "Equius thinks you're really pretty all the time. So, uh, no worries?"

* * *

><p>Nepeta puts their return-address sticker onto the last of their envelopes and announces, "Invitations are done."<p>

"Good." Equius sighs. "Are the preparations almost over?"

"Almost! Just a little while to go, now." She beams at him, causing him to smile a little in return. "It's not as bad as it could have been, you know. We're already friends with a DJ and a baker."

"We're on good terms with a seamstress as well, yet you chose to go to a human store for that at first," he points out. "The cost dropped dramatically when you decided to ask her for the dress instead."

"I didn't want Kanaya to let the cat out of the bag and show you the dress," she answers, cutting off his next question with, "Nope, you still can't see me in it. You have to wait."

He makes an annoyed face, although she suspects he's mostly faking it. "Phooey."

* * *

><p>Nepeta waits anxiously, holding on to Jade's hand partially for reassurance and partially in case she forgets what her musical cue sounds like. She knows it can't be long now, since their wedding is small, but it still seems like it takes forever for the bridal chorus to come on. Then it takes a small eternity to walk up the isle, when really what she wants to do is rush up there and try not to trip over her dress when she does.<p>

The moment that she gets close enough to hear, Equius whispers low enough that the others can't hear, "You look amazing."

"So do you." She made him promise to keep his shades off, and he wanted a suit to be traditional, so he looks like... it doesn't matter what he looks like. He's awkward and nervous and utterly himself, and she wouldn't want to be here with anyone else.

It's hard to focus on anything else in particular over the warm feeling in her chest. Her ring is beautiful; she's never believed anything she's said more strongly than she believes in her vows. After they're pronounced married and she nuzzles up into his chest, she barely hears John's, "Oh, oops," when Equius is very, very carefully resting his hands on her shoulders.

John's father makes amazing cake. Dave starts out with a slow human song that Nepeta's heard once or twice, and she dances with Equius to that; the next song is from Alternia and she realizes that a bunch of her friends must have recorded it especially for her. She'll find out who it was, later, when dancing is not more important and watching Terezi drag the DJ away from his work to get down and boogie with her isn't so funny.

Throughout the day she gets congratulations from everyone, and she thinks it should maybe hurt to be smiling so much. Remarkably little changes by the time they're back at their home and she's so tired that she almost collapses into her recuperacoon: it feels like it would be much more effort not to smile.

"Goodnight, Equius," she tells him, yawning. "Don't let the bedbugs bite." They don't have beds, but the expression is sweet.

"Goodnight, Nepeta," he answers him. Even from just his voice, she can tell he's smiling just as much. "Pleasant dreams."

* * *

><p>Remarkably little changes, and Nepeta finds that reassuring. They were already the palest of the pale. Being married to her moirail is just more of the same thing.<p>

Still, she can't say it doesn't make her grin every time she thinks that yes, she's married, she's really really married. They have some legal benefits now that don't make sense to her and Terezi barely understands, but mostly it's just that it meant something to him and to her to do it. That's the best part.

John's the only one who's acting strange about it, but she distracts him with exciting roleplay while Rose and Equius chat. She picks up a few key phrases like "nonsexual but emotionally fulfilling, committed relationship" while Equius nods along.

When she catches John paying more attention to them, she waves a hand in front of his face. "John! Jooooohn."

"Sorry, what?" he asks. "We were going to start another roleplay, right?"

She nods. "I want to be god tier this time. Can you use your powers to make me fly?"

"No flying in the house," Rose calls to them absently, before turning back to Equius. "My opinion is this: you should keep doing what you're doing. There's nothing wrong with your marriage at all, and I wish you a very happy life together."


End file.
